


Curio

by moonflowers



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Cameo by Anna Chancellor, Getting Together, Humor, In a very loose sense of the word, Kissing as a distraction technique, M/M, Mission Fic, Shenanigans, Undercover, erotic art
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-17 21:35:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11860125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonflowers/pseuds/moonflowers
Summary: Harry's been refusing party invites from an unconventional old friend for years, but when Kingsman requires either he or Eggsy to attend, Harry refuses to send his protégé in alone.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> One more fic I wanted to get out before the sequel comes and everything will be different. Not be dramatic and all but...  
> The character of Lady Anstruther I've shamelessly lifted from Downton Abbey ~~when she wreaked havoc with my ship~~ , so unfortunately she's not my creation. And if you want a visual for her, she's played by Anna Chancellor. I've also borrowed from her roles in Pride and Prejudice and Tipping the Velvet.  
> Mr Wentworth is so named because I'm reading Persuasion and I needed a name.

"That woman is a terror, and I'm not going."

"Come on Harry - "

"There's a reason I refused her invites all these years, Merlin."

"All the more reason to rebuild your burnt bridges then, eh?"

"Absolutely not."

"This is hardly professional, Harry."

"And neither was the occasion you shagged that student while you were supposed to be monitoring my mission in Prague, if that's the game you wish to play."

"If that were the game we're playing Harry, we both know I've got considerably more ammunition than you do."

"Is there really no other way for us to get into contact with the elusive Mr Wentworth and his associates?"

"No way faster or cleaner, no."

"...Christ."

"If you don't go Harry, I'm sending Eggsy in solo."

"You wouldn't."

"I might have to, if you're going to be so bloody obstinate about it." 

"Alone with _that woman?_ She'll eat him alive."

"He might enjoy it."

"Really Merlin - "

"You'd better go with him then, hadn't you."

"Bollocks."

 

* * *

 

"Harry, darling!" Lady Anstruther greeted him with just as much unbridled enthusiasm as she ever did on the few occasions he'd permitted their paths to cross. "All these years of snubbing me, and you've finally agreed to come to another one of my little parties." She gripped his shoulders tightly to lean up and kiss the air just to the side of his cheek, then stepped back to shrewdly look him over. "What on earth could have made you change your mind, I wonder."

"Curiosity," he said, attempting not to breathe too deep, lest her overpowering perfume actually suffocate him. "I've not seen your collection in well over a decade. I'd wager there's a new piece or two worth viewing."

"I knew you'd succumb eventually," she shoved gently at his shoulder, clearly delighted, gleeful smile framed by flawless red lipstick. "Everyone is weak to certain temptations Harry darling, even you."

"So it seems," he pulled his face into the tidy smile she'd be expecting of him, and held out his arm to her. "If you'd be so kind as to escort me in, Caroline?"

"You're dreadfully eager," she said, and for one ridiculous moment, he wondered if she'd figured him out. But it was, as stated, ridiculous, and she took his arm without pushing further, velvet of her sleeve draping over his jacket. "Have you no one at home then, waiting for you?" She said, always keen to ferret out another piece of gossip, particularly if it concerned matters of the heart. Or numerous other body parts, her ladyship wasn't fussy. "No sweet young thing to warm your bed?"

Harry hadn't expected the standard interrogation regarding the state of his love life quite so soon in the evening, but having known Caroline, he really should have guessed. Where age and experience had made him patient, they'd made her the opposite, eager to grasp any opportunity that took her fancy. Not that she'd been much of a shrinking violet in their twenties either. "Not currently, no."

She hummed, continued to walk sedately through the spacious corridors of her family's London residence with Harry in tow. Its interior was as opulent as ever; heavy velvet curtains hung over the windows to shut out the chill of the evening, elaborately carved furniture upholstered in crimson, their footsteps near silent on the thick carpet as the portraits of generations worth of friends and family watched their progress. And Merlin called _Harry's_ home fussy, honestly.

"Well, perhaps you'll find someone to suit your taste among my guests," she said at length.

"Perhaps," said Harry blandly, thankful for years of strict practice of not rolling his eyes when someone was being idiotic in his vicinity. 

They descended the steps into the drawing room, already full of guests milling about, drinks in hand, and looking over the pieces on display. The doors were thrown open, several adjoining rooms also put to good use as the setting for her ladyship's open secret of a collection.

"I must leave you to fend for yourself a moment, darling," she turned to him, all sly smiles, "a lady I promised to show 'Rapture of Helen' to in person has just arrived."

"Of course," Harry nodded graciously, in truth thankful he didn't have to think of an excuse to disentangle himself from her.

"Do help yourself to refreshment," she waved a hand in the general direction of the cluster of wait staff emerging up from the kitchen to weave their way between the guests, before sauntering off.

Harry quickly spotted Eggsy among them, not as smart as he was when dressed in his Kingsman regalia, but still rather dapper. They had it on good information that the company providing the wait staff for the evening was one of the many under the thumb of Mr Wentworth. On the surface, it would appear they were there only to serve the guests, but a number of them were also trained on the sly to locate and later smuggle out rare pieces and prized possessions from the homes of the disgustingly wealthy. That alone may not have been enough to place Wentowrth on Kingsman's radar, but the profits he made from auctioning off the items he didn't keep for himself were greasing the palms of some rather big names in the weapons industry. Eggsy's purpose that evening was to keep an eye on his fellow waiters in case they attempted to pull something off that very night, and to gather what intel he could from them by posing as one of their own, see if he could get Kingsman any closer to nabbing the bastard. 

But, as appealing as the notion might have been, he was not there to watch Eggsy at work all evening - he had matters of his own to see to. First things first: discover whether Mr Wentworth himself was actually in attendance among Lady Anstruther's guests that evening, as he was rumoured to be. He snagged himself a glass from the tray of a passing waiter, regrettably not Eggsy, and stalked further into the room to mingle with the other guests.

Lady Caroline Anstruther's collection of erotica was infamous among high end London society. Harry'd seen it twice before - once the very first time she'd invited people to view it and he hadn't known any better than to accept, and a second occasion when the lady herself had been attempting to lure Harry into her bed, and he'd somehow let himself be talked into it again. Viewing the collection that was, not her bed. In all honesty, he found the pieces rather interesting, if somewhat gaudy and heavy handed in places. It was made up primarily of paintings and sketches, a fair few sculptures, and one or two other artefacts of relevance. On one occasion, there was rumoured to have been a live performance of sorts. Caroline wasn't one to do things by halves. 

He wound his way through the pieces, stopping to exchange a few words with a fellow guest over one exhibit or another. He swapped an approving nod with another gentleman over the head of a sculpture of a well-muscled Greek youth, listened to a young woman sigh over a rather more soft sketch of two men and a woman entangled in bed together, studied a group of clay pots depicting several lewd scenes with genuine interest. One woman ensnared him for a full ten minutes as she chattered away about the use of brush strokes in a portrait of a nude young lady reclining by the seashore. In the end, Harry'd had to down the remainder of his drink so he could use the excuse of fetching another to escape her. An hour into the evening, there was still no hint of Mr Wentworth nor his nefarious doings. 

He assumed Eggsy'd been tracking his progress from afar, firstly because it was exactly what he would have done if their positions were reversed, and also because the moment he set down his empty glass, Eggsy appeared at his side to offer him another.

"Anything else I can do for you sir?" Harry recalled their previously agreed upon true meaning of the question - _any sign of him yet?_

"No, thank you." _Not yet._

"Very good sir. Don't hesitate to let me know if I can be of further assistance." _Meet me for recon in five minutes?_

"Of course." _Yes._

They parted ways again just as seamlessly, Eggsy to offer his tray of drinks to the guests, Harry to look over a raunchy Japanese wall hanging.

Harry ducked into the bathroom six and a half minutes later, Eggsy looking up from his watch with irritation and relief when the door opened. "Even this you're late for, Jesus fucking Christ Harry." He was smiling though.

"Apologies," Harry said, straightened his already perfectly neat tie, "I was talking to the most delightful couple about how badly misinformed the media seems to be about the BDSM scene these days. Dreadful business."

"...Right. I honestly don't know if you're serious or not." Harry thought it would be rather more fun to leave him wondering. "So you've got nothin'?"

"Not a bean," Harry said, "you?"

Eggsy shook his head. "Nah. They all seem clean so far."

"You know, I shall be terribly miffed if Merlin forced me all the way across town to this frightful woman's house for absolutely no reason whatsoever."

"I dunno," Eggsy said, smile slowly growing, "some of it looks pretty interesting to me."

"The collection does have some interesting pieces, I grant you," Harry agreed, "and it's a great deal larger than the last time I saw it."

Eggsy blinked at him. "You've seen it before?"

"Yes."

"I _knew_ you was filthy," Eggsy said with rather more delight than Harry thought the occasion called for.

"Thank you, Eggsy. Now, I think it best if - "

"Oh," they were interrupted as Lady Anstruther swung open the door and came to an abrupt halt. She stared at them in surprise for half a second, before her eyes narrowed and her mouth stretched into the poorly concealed smirk she wore when she thought she knew something. "So you're here to prey on my catering staff, Harry. I see. Well you're not alone on that score, darling." Her eyes settled on Eggsy, appraising. "And I suppose I can forgive you - he is rather lovely. A sort of Adonis in an apron."

"I really - " Harry tried.

"No no, don't let me interrupt," she waved a heavily bejewelled hand, "these little gatherings of mine are a celebration of pleasure, after all. It would be somewhat hypocritical of me if I were to prevent my guests from making their own fun."

All the excuses Harry had ready died on his tongue as she let herself out, leaving he and Eggsy alone in the bathroom, staring after her as the door swung shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was meant to be posted as one chapter, but I wanted to post it today for the meet up and ran out of time to finish. Second half should hopefully be up in a couple of days :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cashing in on those tags ;) This is pretty short, but like I said, it was originally meant to be posted as one chapter.

After Caroline's unfortunate interruption of their reconnaissance in the bathroom, Harry and Eggsy had thought it best to remain there a while longer, to give the story she'd no doubt already whispered into half her guests' ears credence to anyone who might be watching them. Eggsy seemed to find it hilarious, and though Harry had tried to keep a straight face for the sake of professionalism, he wasn't altogether successful. 

Some time later, and they were both back at the party; Eggsy once more patrolling the rooms, drinks tray in hand, swapping the odd wink or grin with the other wait staff and winning them over. He was ever so charming, when he wanted to be. Though admittedly, Harry thought him charming even when at his worst. Harry himself had moved along into the second room full of Lady Anstruther's collection, which seemed to be composed primarily of paintings. Most were by artists he'd not heard of, and verging on pornographic. But a few were softer, more intimate for their innocence - a group of young women, nude and smiling as they lay in a field of flowers, Achilles looking up at the stars as Patroclus rested his head in his lap.  
There was one that held his attention longer than the rest. It had no title and no artist, labelled simply as 'Unnamed Youth.' Its subject was a young man, unclothed of course, lying on his front on a bed. He was looking back over his shoulder at whoever had drawn him, hair tousled and a smile on his lips, back arched as he tilted his rear provocatively, but subtly enough that it could be called innocent if you didn't know any better. It was unfinished, the background just faint pencil showing the vague outline of a room, the posts of the bed. Only the smallest hints of colour had been washed onto the canvas, pink at the young man's lips and his cheeks, yellow hair, light and shadow lovingly applied over the curves of his body. It would have been incorrect for Harry to say it reminded him of Eggsy, because of course he'd never witnessed his protege in such a state. But it did make him think of him, in appearance and manner, all teasing and easy good humour. Beautiful, enchanting, and a little bit wicked.

But even the charm of the painting couldn't soothe Harry's growing irritation at the lack of progress they seemed to be making on the task at hand. After a long while spent gently probing the other guests for any information and still nothing to show for it, Harry signalled across the room to Eggsy to meet up again. They avoided the bathroom - being discovered together in the same place on two separate instances would draw more attention than they needed. Instead, Harry ducked into an alcove along a deserted corridor, and waited for Eggsy to join him. 

"We're getting nowhere fast," Harry said the moment Eggsy appeared, "Wentworth himself is nowhere in sight and none of the guests seem to have even heard of him." 

"You're just pissed because you had to see Lady A for no reason, aren't you," Eggsy said, smirking. 

"Perhaps," Harry sighed, annoyed at his own inability to set it aside. "Any leads with the staff?"

"Nah, none of them seem to be linked to Wentworth," Eggsy shook his head before suddenly brightening, "but I did find out something else - half of 'em aren't even really waiters and waitresses. They're escorts hand picked by the lady herself in case all the dirty art gets her guests in the mood."

"Ah," Harry said. "I wish I could say I'm surprised, but I'm not. Honestly, that woman - "

"Harry?" The lady in question's voice carried along the corridor, "Harry darling is that you?"

Oh bugger. Harry cast a quick look down the length of the corridor, but there was no viable method of escape besides simply turning tail and fleeing, which would leave both his and Eggsy's cover rather in shreds. Lady Anstruther was rapidly approaching, and Harry was all out of ideas, save one. But if Eggsy was correct about the staff, then here of all places, it should bloody work.

"Eggsy," he said under his breath, "I'm going to kiss you, alright?"

"What?" Eggsy blinked up at him in confusion, before understanding settled over his face. "I - yeah, ok." 

"Good," Harry nodded, and before he could overthink it, ducked down to kiss him. 

It was chaste at first, a press of closed lips, Harry bringing his hand up to sit gently at the nape of Eggsy's neck. But then he shifted slightly, and pressed more firmly, Eggsy's lips parting for him, and Harry didn't think he could count the kiss as a false one any longer. Eggsy tasted of champagne - he'd clearly helped himself to sip or two while he was serving, and Harry hummed appreciatively as Eggsy's arm slipped around his waist. Everything he'd ever thought about the young man currently in his arms bubbled up to the forefront of his mind, every smile and wink, every unconsciously sweet gesture, every curse, every hour spent sitting at the side of each other's hospital beds. He was clever and competent and handsome and good and Harry loved him. And, thank whatever deity may have been listening, he thought, or hoped at least, that Eggsy may have been experiencing a rush of similar emotion, as they fell deeper into an adrenaline fuelled, grasping and messy kiss. Harry had just pulled away to grant himself the long desired pleasure of kissing the length of Eggsy's throat when the lady of the house reminded him of her presence.

"Good Lord, Harry."

For fuck's sake. This was why Harry didn't like her. He reluctantly removed his lips from the charming little mole on Eggsy's neck, and turned to face her. 

"I am glad you decided to stop being such a frightful stick in the mud and come to one of my little soirees, Harry darling," she twisted her long, beaded necklace between her fingers as she spoke, an movement artfully made to look careless, watching them thoughtfully down her nose, "look at what it's gotten you. Gorgeous boy," she hesitated, and frowned, "although I would have thought I'd remember hiring you, with a jawline like that. Unless you're one of the boys from Wentworth... dreadful waste if you are."

_Ah ha._

"You won't mind if I just give him a phone to check your identification - "

"Oh for God's sake," Harry decided he'd grown bored of her interfering and prattling on, and lifted his watch to amnesia dart her in the neck. 

"Fuck, Harry," Eggsy said as she slumped to the floor, "I've got my fake ID right here and it's fucking watertight, there was no need to dart her."

"Hm," Harry motioned for Eggsy to assist him in lifting her into a chair, her head lolling to the side, "she was beginning to irritate me." Merlin certainly wouldn't be impressed either, but he'd cross that bridge later. "And, thanks to her ladyship, we now know that Wentworth himself is not here, but that some of the wait staff must be under his employ. Very few, if you haven't encountered any of them in your enquiries so far, darling." He hadn't intended to speak the endearment aloud, but he was glad he had, for the way it made Eggsy smile.

"Why did you do it?" Eggsy said, faltering just a little. "Kiss me proper, I mean, not just for her benefit," he jerked his head towards the prone form of their hostess.

"Curiosity," Harry said. "Until that moment, I hadn't been sure if you wanted it as much as I did. I needed to know for certain." He'd felt Eggsy kiss him back and he'd known.

"Well, I think I made how I feel about you pretty clear, yeah?" There was a flicker of uncertainty behind his words that made Harry want to gather him up and pull him back into the alcove, kiss him until any trace of uncertainty was banished. But duty called. 

"You did my dear, and I should very much like to discuss it further with you later. But for now, I believe we have ourselves some art thieves to catch red handed." He held out his arm for Eggsy to take, smile growing wider as he did so, despite Harry's best efforts. "Shall we?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is ridiculous, I had a great time.


End file.
